Need advice… how to stop teen from sneaking out?

I’ve got nine cameras around the outside of the house, but my 13-year-old has been trying to sneak out at night recently. I’m looking for suggestions on some kind of window alarm or anything that might help stop this. Most of the alarms I’ve come across are designed to keep people from getting in, not out. Any recommendations? I can’t just lock the windows because he’s in the basement, and that would be against fire safety codes.

Any alarm system will notify you when a door or window sensor is triggered, no matter if it’s opened from inside or outside. Trust me, I’ve set off the alarm more than once just letting the cat out.

Have you thought about figuring out why he’s sneaking out? Where is he going and why? Trying to lock everything down might just make him feel trapped, and that usually doesn’t work out well. Teens are pretty determined when they want to do something!

@Savanna
Exactly! First question that came to mind—why is a 13-year-old sneaking out?

Gia said:
@Savanna
Exactly! First question that came to mind—why is a 13-year-old sneaking out?

Probably for the same reasons most of us did… to meet up with friends or just to hang out.

Gia said:
@Savanna
Exactly! First question that came to mind—why is a 13-year-old sneaking out?

Teenagers do a lot of silly things. It’s why adding a teen driver to your insurance can double or triple the cost.

@Savanna
This is the most sensible answer I’ve seen. Honestly, some of these comments make me worry for their kids.

Evan said:
@Savanna
This is the most sensible answer I’ve seen. Honestly, some of these comments make me worry for their kids.

I was thinking the same thing. Buying alarms instead of having a conversation with the kid… Maybe there’s something going on that needs to be addressed, especially at that age.

Alarm.com offers notifications for when windows and doors open or close.

I’m seeing a lot of folks suggesting alarms, but honestly, just talk to your kid! Don’t make them feel like they’re in a prison.

Evan said:
I’m seeing a lot of folks suggesting alarms, but honestly, just talk to your kid! Don’t make them feel like they’re in a prison.

Seriously though, nine cameras and your kid sleeps in the basement? That sounds like a situation that needs more than just an alarm.

@Evan
I know plenty of kids who had a setup in their parents’ finished basement—bedroom, game room, bathroom. It can be a pretty sweet setup, not a punishment. OP didn’t say they ‘keep’ him there.

But yeah, sneaking out could mean he’s just meeting up with someone. Alarms might change the timing, but it won’t stop it. Maybe a talk would help more.

@Andre
But they did say, ‘I can’t lock the windows because he’s in the basement,’ which does raise questions.

Adeline said:
@Andre
But they did say, ‘I can’t lock the windows because he’s in the basement,’ which does raise questions.

Using ‘keep’ sounds like you’re forcing someone to stay there. That’s not the case here.

@Evan
Basements can be cool living spaces. I had a friend who lived in his parents’ finished basement, and it was the hangout spot. OP didn’t say they’re forcing the kid to live down there.

Still, it sounds like there’s something going on that a conversation might address better than alarms.

You can set up a recessed sensor on the window and link it to an alarm panel. Configure it as a local alarm that gives 24-hour notifications. If you want to make sure he knows not to mess with it, set it to chime loudly whenever the window is opened. Look for a brand with tamper sensors so he can’t disable it, and check occasionally to make sure it hasn’t been tampered with.

Not much more to add on the security side, but I have some parenting advice from my own rebellious teen years. It might be worth having a chat to understand what’s going on and make sure he’s safe. If you try to completely control or lock him away from certain friends or activities, he’ll likely find a way around it. Teens are creative that way.

It’s better to guide than to force. Plus, if he’s tech-savvy, he’ll find a way to bypass any of these alarms pretty quickly. The solutions might work for a week, but not much longer.

@Ariana
Best advice yet.

My advice: talk to him. Trying to control his every move won’t work, and he’s almost at the age where he’ll just push back harder. Have a conversation, understand why he’s sneaking out, and show some empathy. Did you ever sneak out as a teen? If you did, you probably understand where he’s coming from.

Alarms can help, but maybe try to figure out why he’s sneaking out. Sometimes, it’s a sign he doesn’t feel free or comfortable enough during the day, so he looks for that at night.

Speaking from experience as a kid who snuck out because home felt too restrictive. Sometimes it’s about feeling some control over your own life.